30 reasons that Megamind is the new Tangled

I actually have been a little behind the times with the movies of late.

So no I actually haven’t seen tangled, but sleepy is bringing it with her this weekend, so I will be seeing it soon, however I have been reading fanfic’s on it because of airplaned’s blog.

However mom and babe came this weekend and I watched Megamind with them and I love it.

20 reasons Megamind is soo awesome.

1.       That little blue baby is the cutest kid I’ve ever seen!

2.       ‘I was still living with my parents when I was eight days old…how sad is that! Clearly it was time to move on!’

3.       Bernard is really cute and kinda reminds me of Daniel from Stargate.

4.       Brainbots are awesome.

5.       ‘Daddy loves you’??? Yes I talk to my dog like that.

6.       His minion is named minion… original?

7.       His consultant is a fish… seems I’m not the only one who talks to my fish.

8.       Exit is an abbreviation for exit-ing…yes…yes it is.

9.       Anyone who is smart enough to realize how stupid the English language is must be a genius…shool yes English is stupid..

10.   ‘It’s all about presentation’

11.   Someone can make a orange jumpsuit look good. :D

12.   If you’re going to have your skin any color, I have always thought that the popular primary color blue is the best choice.

13.   It’s big for a reason. And yes I have the desktop picture.

14.   Don’t want to change your suit and yes you’re a bad singer and Megamind is obviously tone deaf.

15.   See through iron and copper is a weakness? Really??

16.   The goatee is hot.

17.   Roxanne is not super thin.

18.   ‘I think my spie-der bite is playing up’?

19.   ‘you are destand to….’ Yes it could’ve been important.

20.   ‘…I lost the girl of my dreams…still it could be worse…oh that’s right I’m falling to my death, so maybe not’ – anyone who is that optimistic is pretty ok.

10 Reasons Megamind and Roxanne are the cutest couple ever!

1.       The most important reason. I get the impression that

·         Roxanne figured out a long time ago that Megamind would never really hurt her.

2.       If Megamind owns a invisible car, he clearly used that technology for…the greater good.

3.       I don’t think Megamind ever kidnapped anyone else.

4.       Roxanne thinks the most unstable person in the universe is predictable…? go figure.

5.       Obviously everyone knows Megamind won’t hurt her otherwise Mr.GoodyTwoShoes wouldn’t’ve faked his death while Megamind had her.

6.       She willingly picked evil over good.

7.       I get the feeling that Megamind was in love with her a lot longer than minion thought.

8.       ‘I was always the last chosen’/ ‘too bad we didn’t go to the same school’ aww gushy cute… yes Megamind ditto.

9.       I’m guessing by the fact that Roxanne changed her dress to blue at the end of the movie that blue could be her favorite color.

10.   Judging a book by it’s cover… and yes I think she likes the contentse too.

Oh and I’ve even started drawing fan art on it… sad eh!?

Look at the picture

Look closely at this picture…closer, closer, no she’s not sitting, she was supposed to be sitting, but as she sat for her photo, she misjudged the step and fell backwards.

Yes I clicked the camera while she was falling, the look on her face… no its not panic because she does stupid stuff so often that it doesn’t worry her… look at the face… its embarrassment, yes my dog was embarrassed that she was falling of the step and I post the photo on the internet, how nasty am i?

Makes me feel good that my dog is as stupid as me though.

Oh and also DogLady has gone on holiday... you know what that means, NO GREEN JUICE FOR A WEEK!

YAY!!!

Awesome Mushroom

Check out this, I’ve never seen a mushroom like the one in cartoons before, we found it on our morning walk and I think its awesome!

R.I.P BoganVillia

We had a bit of a ‘working bee’ today. DogLady loves gardening, and she was distraught, but it was apparently her own fault.

We were late…by like forty five minutes..because, no nothing went wrong it was just that it was DogLady and me so were always that off schedule.

And everyone had started without us, as we arrive DogLady starts worrying, and I ask what’s wrong and all she says is ‘The BoganVillia’

And I’m like the what?’

She then unwinds the windows and yells at the men chopping some plant of a fence.

‘Oi what are you doing to the bogan villia?’

They start explaining that the plants  over grown

‘but I said I was going to trim it today’ she complained

‘Excuse me who’s a bogan?’ I asked

‘not who, what, over there that plant’ she points and then continues her complaints

‘oh, I see’ as I look at a big green bush with purple leaves on it.

She then starts talking about stupid men who think they can just chop things down, but it was too late because it was gone.

Then she gets upset because they’re going to burn it and I’m like ‘well its dead now….anyway’ that was not the right thing to say.

So we were stuck pruning roses and I had to listen to half an hour of

‘oh gee dosen’t the fence look so much prettier than the bogan villia, and damn rose thorns don’t hurt as much as seeing my bogan villia chopped down, and why did god make men to try our patience and chop down our bogan villias, and I’m so angry right now I could chop someone’s head off like they chopped down my bogan villia, you just wait they’re gonna hear what I have to say about it’

And I said ‘because they can’t hear you complaining about it?

‘well is my bogan villia still chopped down?’

‘I’ll buy you your own boganvillia for your house, and that way no one can chop it down’ I said

‘I don’t want my own, I liked that one!’

I sighed, I knew there was emotional attachment there, but were not going into that, let’s just say this particular boganvillia got a lot of love during a tough time, and I knew if they ever chopped it down it would be bad but this is just ridiculous!.

‘they think they can just take down my bogan villia, well just tear out our hearts, what is it with men thinking they can just walk all over you’ she then proceeded to leave me and find some sympathizers, she found two.

Damnit Bogan villia sympathizers, now I get it from two angles!

Poor DogLady, she’s so upset, and then her granddaughter drew her a picture about it and it made her cry, and DogLady just dosent cry so she must’ve been really upset about the BoganVillia.

On the bright side I now know the names of three flower-planty things. Rose, Daisy, and BoganVillia.

R.I.P dead burnt BoganVillia.

Then she proceeded to launch into a speech about it was her fault because we were late, and it was her fault because she didn’t prune it, and it was her fault because she got attached to a plant, and all I thought, was this is great because I feel no need to take ANY responsibility for ANYTHING I do EVER again, so long as DogLadys around because apparently it’s all her fault.

And to the men who chopped it down, nice fence…. and remember;

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and if still waters run deep, DogLadys pretty damn deep, so I’d run…oh and think about planting a new BoganVillia, I don’t want to deal with the subliminal rage that she’s been letting off all day, make it improve please.

P.S. This is a general but not exact, paint replica of the picture. it did not ease the pain at all.

I'm A Drug dealer

Ok let’s get this straight.

I am NOT innocent towards worldly ways ok.

No I know all about drinking, and violence and drugs and mental health and suicide and sex and rock and roll and all that stuff, and I don’t pretend that I don’t because I think it is all a part of life, I grew up around this kind of stuff so I’m not oblivious.

But sometimes when I make an announcement like ‘oh yeah were growing weed do you guys want some? I truly wonder.

It all started when DogLady and I decided to grow our own weed. Fish weed that is, weeds that you feed to fish, or normal people would call them aquatic plants, or sea weed or whatever, we call is fish weed.

So we get onto growing it, it’s doing well and then someone is talking to me about our town and the fact that I never lock any of my doors and they say

‘well you should because it used to be a pretty rough town and some of the old people are still around’

‘what do you mean by rough?’ I ask

‘you know they were into alcohol, and the guy next to you used to grow weed’

‘oh really? Were growing weed!’

‘are you?’

‘yeah do you want some!...oh wait hang on’ and that’s when I realized that my one track innocent mind had gone back to thinking about fish and not what was being said ‘sorry wrong sort, fish weed, not paying attention again…please continue…’

The turtles adventure

Catch this. I babysat shorts yesterday and after he was bored for ages, he asked what I do, and I told him I write, so he gave it a go, this is the story he wrote.

He turned nine last Sunday.

THE TUTRLES ADVENTUR

Once in the sea lived a young turtle, His name was fillip. Fillip loved adventures and turtle ice-cream. But there was a problem in the sea because the shark king ruled. But fillip had an idea when he was sleeping, it was a idea to defeat the shark king, he was thinking for a long time, but what he needed was far far away hidden in a secret cave but no one knew where the secret cave is, and it is guarded by lots of tough fish. One of the fish were called a vampire fish. There were also magnificent gold fish, and the gold fish is a tough fish and he gaurds the dead fish skeletons.

And the turtle was afraid, but he had a strong heart, so he went to sleep that night and headed into the cave the next day.

But when the turtle was swimming to the cave a hook appeared infront of him and then lots of hooks were there, he looked up he swam up, and when he got there there were lots of fisherman he was trapped so he swam back down into the dark, but he had good eyesight in the dark and he went deep under the hooks, and when the tough fish came, he told them not to go near the fish hooks because youll get trapped and die and be cut up into pieces and be sold to people, or people will keep you as pets and they mightkill you or feed you to the animals!’

But the goldfish didn’t listen so the turtle said ‘fine ill show you?’ and he took the bait of the hooks and the fish said ‘thankyou you are our hero and so the turtle took more of and gave it to the fish, and they said thankyou how can we honour you?’

‘I need the tools in the cave to defeat the shark king’

‘no we cant the caves are guarded my the vampire fish, and we are weak we havnt trained in a week!’

‘well you should train by picking up rocks so that you can get stronger!’ said the turtle.

How cute! I han’nt edited it, so it’s just like he wrote it…shorts is soo cute!

I'm emotionally retarded

I’m in love with emotionally retarded men.

Spock….

But I can’t watch spock because Sleepy owns the movie and she’s not here, she better bring the DVD when she comes on holiday,

So I watched X-men

 Wolverine-self explanatory

So I thought I’d watch some old movies.

Marry Poppins. Bert is so cute…but would he ever settle down? I think not.

 and now for the final yes I admit this although its rather shameful.

Captain VonTrapp - also self explanatory…

Oh and Maxum-rebecca

Although it could be more to do with men and singing,

Once again captain VonTrapp singing Eidleveiss

Gerry –p.s. I love you

Jonny cash-the movie

Ooh and then john Cusack in….well anything really but mostly must love dogs and/or martin child.

Anyway no maybe it’s got something to do with a certain gentlemanly/old fashioned personality.

No I think I’m just emotionally retarded.

Endlessly Benevolent

Because I am such a loving and kind and endlessly benevolent owner that I share my bed with Bindii and Nulla, this does not however mean that Bindii can lay sideways or that Nulla can prick my face whenever I put my head on MY pillow.

Actually my pillow is the awesomest, I was thinking about this because of reading airplaned’s blog about his new pillow.

I’m never getting a new pillow, I love mine, it’s made of rags and feathers and had had a new pillowcase sewn over it because it’s old one was torn off by Bindii when she was a puppy.

It’s slightly lumpy, but still soft, the best comfiest pillow ever.

This pillow has great sentimental value to it, it was my boyfriends fathers pillow, after his mother died he was moved between fostering homes and this pillow was one of the few things he was able to hold on to that belonged to his father, I always tried to steal it because it’s really comfortable, and then when he died, I took it because it still smelt like him for a long time, now it mostly smells like my shampoo and a bit like Bindii, but if you bury your face deep in it, it still smells like him a bit, that has nothing to do me throwing the rest of his aftershave on the pillow, no it does not.

Anyway I love this pillow, I’m currently leaning on it now, pillows are the best especially when you get one that you really love.

And I really love this one even if it does have like a million dribble marks on it.

Back to Bindii and Nulla, it is currently the middle of the day, we have two three seated lounges, and I’m sitting on the end of one, not by choice, I started in the middle and have slowly been pushed to the end because Bindii wants a cuddle and I don’t want to hug her, so she got closer and I moved away and she got closer until I ran out of couch and now my arm is over her while I am typing one handed.

How did that happen?

Oh that’s right because I’m a kind loving and endlessly benevolent owner.

Rhyme This is such a bore?

DogLady’s daughter and grandchildren are moving to Sydney so we have been organizing a fairwell party. Farmville is making them a scrap book, and she’s trying to write a poem about their stay here, to match the photos.

It goes something like

You brighten our day

We wish you could stay,

We love going for walks with you and the dogs

We love playing hide and seek, finding you under pine logs

You brighten our cloudy days

Your smile feels like sun rays

Tessa and izzy                               

At school are busy

I don’t know something like this, it’s written for a four and six year old girls, but man we were laughing at it and poor farmville was trying to rhyme a word with sure;

We gave her, bore, tore, implore, sore, everything that she couldn’t use, poor farmville she’s trying so hard. :D

Art Room done!

Today I set up my art room, it looks great, has all my pictures on the wall, I love it, I dedicated a small space by the window to my painting section because the sun comes in there and it’s so nice.

Bindii has claimed the small section by the window as her own, she likes the sun too, now I have to go move it all around…damn dog!

Attacked!

DogLady invited Bindii and I to her place for lunch, I thought this was okay, so I said yes and then she broke out the green juice at 1.30 in the afternoon.

Alas I can’t escape my fate of green juice drinking.

Anyway Bindii ended up trying to eat her cat, it did not go well, we had to rush the cat to the vet, she was okay, but she was pretty sore, no broken bones or anything, but she didn’t look well, the poor darling.

 Mind you this cost me $50 witch I was not happy about stupid dog don’t you know were dirt poor at the moment!

Sometimes I hate her.

She’s not usually vicious, but when she was a puppy she was stolen and blooded in preparation to be used as a fighting dog.

Blooding a dog is when they starve and beat them for week while injecting drugs into them like speed and ice, and then they cover a smaller animal, like a rat, rabbit, cat, small dog in blood, and throw them in with the dog being blooded and encourage them to kill and eat it, it’s horrible, anyway when we got her back she was really vicious, and it took ages to train it out of her, she was only stolen for two months before we got her back, but it makes a huge impact on her life.

And it seems that no matter how much training I give her she always messes up, but I always forgive her because it’s not her fault, she only ever attacks cats and fox terriers, never a human or any other animal, so I think that’s what she must’ve been trained with, but I thought she got on well with DogLady’s cat..obviously not, it’s my fault I suppose I shouldn’t leave her with a cat I feel so bad, anyway, DogLady was understandably pretty upset and in her panic on the way to the vets, something fell of the backseat of the car and hits the floor, and she says

‘what was that’ in slight panic

‘I don’t know, something fell I think’ I answered ’oh I thought a wheel fell of the car’ she said

‘yeah nan, because we wouldn’t notice a whole wheel coming of while were driving along’ FishBoy laughed.

Poor DogLady she must’ve been stressed, but man it was funny!.

Mr.Wonderful

Ok here’s the thing, I’m still technically allowed to gush over a guy/man because I’m only twenty and I don’t think I have to get over that until I’m about twenty five, but it’s not often I do so, because I know they’re a bad idea.

They take over your life, force you to fall desperately in love with them even though you can’t figure out why because they make you do a bunch of boring stuff like fixing the car and watching the footy and they have weird complexes and make you feel carsick all the time, and make you feel fat, even though they say ‘but I love you the way you are’ and then you get all self conscious and have to check your hair and buy lavender scented soap even though coconut is on sale, and you have to watch boring things like StarGate and My Ile Home and old black and white movies even thought that bored you incredibly at the time, and now you’re obsessed. And they force you to eat Anzacs and  go swimming and buy a dog and join a band, and then they make you irrational and you fight and break up or worse fight and don’t break up because then you have to deal with the seething silence, and then they make you take care of them when they’re sick and while they have a cold, they think they’re dying and turn the next week into a living hell, and then they bring their friends home who expect you to serve them beer all night, and they take away your insecurities and make you happy and say really sweet things that make you go even gooer witch seems impossible, and they promise to stay with you forever and love you and make you happy eternally and then they go and die. Or they expect you to negate the past ten years of your life because they really do love you more, or they aren’t who they seemed, or you simply can’t stand them, or whatever.

So yeah I might only be twenty but I’m a little bitter about it, so for me to meet a guy and gush is quiet a shocking experience.

And Sleepy isn’t here for me to tell her all about it witch is really annoying, so I’m just going to have to vent to you guys.

So I met a lovely guy yesterday, no actually man because guy is too undignified for what I met only this Man was not like a million years old, and I didn’t ask his age because…well that’s rude and I’m really not that confidant, but I know that he wasn’t born before ash Wednesday thanks Sweetness and Shorts by the way for that information, so he can’t be older than thirty, but I don’t think he’s older than twenty five, because of the way he spoke however looks can be deceiving.

He’s not overly handsome, in fact he’s balding, and well average… however…he proceeded to speak and I was completely enthralled listening to him talking about the world and space and creation and particle physics and Albert Einstein and splitting atoms, because all that stuff really turns me on, which is just sad really, but true. And then I was talking to my Nan and DogLady and WowHeGotTall was talking to him, I was of course determined not to talk to him because as previously stated I’m bitter towards men and determinedly so, I figured he seemed so great that I didn’t want to talk to him and have that ruined, or worse find out that he really is perfect and be totally embarrassed by my lack of dignity and general clumsiness.

But as it was I had to pass them to get my bag because DogLady had informed me that we were leaving.

And so I briskly walked past this lovely man and WowHeGotTall, and I muttered a ‘excuse me’ as I squished past WowHeGotTall and the wall and continued towards my bag and that’s when I heard it.

‘Hello’ a voice said

I knew it wasn’t WowHeGotTall’s voice because his still hasn’t broken, so I was faced with a dilemma, do I pretend I’m really deaf and ignore him, but no because I’ve secretly been itching to say hello, but no I’m not admitting that and then but oh, no deaf deaf deaf, and I trip over myself….(embarrassment)

‘Oh wait… I’m supposed to be getting my bag…I mean hello, but we’re going…’ I rambled and then I decided to shut up, pick up my bag and turn around hold my hand out and attempt to introduce myself… of course it’s then that my stupid stutter kicks in and I can’t manage to get anything at all out.

‘hi I’m…..’let’s call him M.Wonderful

‘hi m-Mr.Wonderful, I Sara-h’

‘hello Sarah’

‘hi’

‘It’s nice to meet you’

‘you to-o’ I smiled nervously

He smiles

I smile

WowHeGotTall is still saying something about his apple project

He’s still smiling and vaguely nodding at WowHeGotTall

I’m still smiling and perhaps blushing

And he’s smiling…still

And woops, big woops huge woops, and yes I am currently panicking, because not only did I embarrass myself with the few words I did say  sounding like I was mentally damaged, I was still hanging on to his hand… but then he was still hanging on to mine, but no! I snatched it back, and he didn’t seem to be half as embarrassed as I was, but then he hadn’t sounded like an idiot when he spoke either, and I was so busy mentally scolding myself because I haven’t stuttered this badly in months, I found myself rambling on about how intelligent he had sounded and that I had really enjoyed listening to him, which sounded stupid and then he started a conversation about a big telescope, and I was really interested, no I actually was,  so much so that I forgot how nervous and gushy I was because I was actually listening and we were chatting like we had known each other for years, which is a massive feat for me because I don’t meet new people well, and then WowHeGotTall got upset and wouldn’t shut up and go away, and he was trying to tell us about a telescope, but it wasn’t our telescope…(I just wrote that didn’t it….*silence* it’s a muti-million dollar telescope not ours…but anyway)

So WowHeGotTall broke back into the conversation by asking about biscuits that I had promised his mom, and I sincerely wanted to hit him, I never get the urge to hit WowHeGotTall, all the other kids sure, but not him, but seriously if I didn’t want to hit him or beat him with a big metal pole right now.

I mentioned something about he could pick them up on his way home from school, and then Mr.Wonderful was saying ‘oh so you like cooking?’ and I said that I only baked one kind of biscuit mostly, not that I couldn’t, but it was my aunties special recipe and blah blah blah, and I wanted to then hug WowHeGotTall and give him lots of biscuits because it was probably the first thing that I didn’t sound completely stupid saying, and Mr.Wonderful actually looked impressed.

And somehow we moved onto fusion power and how I think it’s a stupid idea and look what happened with the nuclear power in Japan and they want to put fusion power which is at least three times more unstable in the middle of our desert, no thank you I’m not up for that. I don’t want radiation blowing my way, and then he said about how it’s not just blowing what if it leaks into the water…

And then he told me that I looked nice, and I said ‘What these old things?’ and then I shook my head at how stupid that sounded, but I was actually wearing old clothes and my shirt actually had a hole in it because I was running late and I had colored a patch of skin in black so it wasn’t so noticeable in the car on the way here, so I proceeded to explain that, lest I sound like an idiot fishing for compliments, but then I realized that now I just sounded like a daggy un-organized idiot fishing for compliments, none the less he smiled and said that I did look pretty anyway.

And then Shorts and Boombox came over and started hanging of me, and Boombox got her hairclip caught on my top because she’s just that height and when she turned around my top was pulled away from my skin and had un-ceremonisally revealed my chest, I wanted to hug WowHeGotTall again because I think he had stolen Mr.Wonderful’s attention at just the right moment so he didn’t actually notice… apart from the fact that I half fell into his arm, and he looked at me and smiled and just told Boombox to be more careful about throwing her weight around.

And then Mr.Wonderful was telling me about his dad, and how he used to be a biologist and astrophysicist, and I had said ‘wow he’d provide some interesting conversation’, and Mr.Wonderful had said that he thought his dad would like me and he was sure we’d get on, and he’d have to introduce me someday. I smiled and then he started asking about my family and where I lived and for how long and why I moved back and why I’d moved away and where did I prefer and had I ever been to where he came from and I should go. And then Boombox started talking about some statue in the local museum that Giggle had made and Shorts and Sweetness had to join in, and I didn’t actually want to hit them like I still wanted to hit WowHeGotTall because he still wouldn’t shut up and go away, Shorts and Boombox were ok, because they gave me the chance to observe Mr.Wonderful with children, and he actually liked them which made him all the more attractive, and Sweetness and him were talking about ash wednesday actually meaning black Tuesday, but I derived an age estimate around those comments.

It was about then that I actually asked WowHeGotTall to leave, and he did…thank goodness.

And then I realized part way through when he was telling me about his last seven months of life and stating that he was single no less than three times that I had been chatting to him for almost an hour and it had only felt like a few seconds.

And then Nan and DogLady came over and chatted to him and they liked him very much witch goes along way in me liking him more, and then he said that he had to go because he had been invited for lunch and I kicked myself for not asking him myself, but then I smugly realized he must’ve been invited before I had spoken to him because he hadn’t hardly stopped talking to me, which is nice because on the rare occasion that I like someone they either don’t talk to me at all or they look really uncomfortable doing so.

Anyway he finished off with saying something about hopefully we’ll catch up soon and keep your eye out for the next photo from that awesome telescope and it was great meeting you and see you soon.

And I was completely jelly by that point so I just mumbled a ‘yeah’ and waved with a smile…and then that overwhelming urge to hit WowHeGotTall again as I realized that Mr.Wonderful was going to their house for lunch.

After getting home I did two things… firstly kicked myself because I really should’ve got a number because I think he was actually interested, and secondly I tried to figure out a way to go over to WowHeGotTall’s place so that I could hopefully catch Mr.Wonderful and maybe secure a lunch invitation myself….maybe I could take those cookies over now?

I spent the second half of the day firstly telling myself that I was being ridiculous and grow up, and you are not going over there, and then admitting that yes I did like him and that was ok but I’m not doing anything about it, because if things are meant to be I will meet him again, and then I will know, if not…well then I know also.

Today WowHeGotTall came to collect the cookies and I wanted to hit him again because he was telling me how Mr.Wonderful stayed for ages and is really nice and ‘oh you should’ve came for lunch mom made heaps…’

Damn it Sleepy hurry up and get here so I can winge to you and tell you exactly how he looked and repeat myself twenty nine times over and make you listen to myself talking myself out of it into it out of it into it, and then deriving a plan to accidently meet him again…please…I miss Sleepy!

Not A BabySitter

Ok I’m not the local babysitter, although I suppose when I was about 16 I did babysit, now all the kids that I babysat are now about 14-15 and think I’m back to baby sit them although it’s more like my house is the drop in centre.

They shall hence forth be known as TheAdolecance.

My issues are with all four of them… TheAnnoyance who is my adopted Nan and Pops grandson so he’s like my brother since I lived with them for ages, and then there’s Giggle who is Farmvills daughter and then WowHeGotTall because he did, and WowHeGotTall’s  best friend who is also DogLady’s grandson let’s call him FishBoy because he does love them,  they all think I’m here just to hang out with them, which is ok because although they’re all really annoying teenagers I was a really annoying teenager not long ago, although all the adults that remember me told me I wasn’t all that annoying which is nice, anyway I do like these kids they’re good kids and they’re stuck in the middle of being too young to wonder around doing their own thing and wanting to go out and do cool stuff with their friends, and to them I seem young and super cool, according to TheAnnoyance… although I can’t figure that one out,  and to their parents/grandparents/guardians I seem responsible… go figure, anyway I get it and I don’t mind them hanging out around here, but…. Here’s my issues.

Firstly TheAnnoyance, no you cannot hug me constantly because it’s annoying and I know you’ve always been really huggy but you’re a teenager now and it’s not appropriate for me to let you hug me in case you get the wrong impression and that would be bad coz I still see you like my kid brother and besides that you really annoy me, and yes I do love you but, touch my stuff and I will yell at you, also… I don’t like the cartoon Bleach and I’m not going to, so shut up about it! I’m sick of it, although Babalon 5 is not so bad… also don’t tease my dog… you annoy me so I will let her bite you ok.

Secondly FishBoy, your great but no my fish have not had babies so you can’t have any yet and no they will not have had babies by tomorrow so you can’t have any then either, I will inform you when I have enough baby’s to spare some, also DogLady’s driving is not that bad so don’t freak out when she over takes someone. Oh and squash really? is that a sport?

Thirdly Giggle, FishBoy is so not that funny and I thought you had a boyfriend…? What? no, he is that funny? But you are nice when you’re not being a obnoxious teenage girl trying to impress boys, I like you, or at least I think I will when you grow up…oh but please remove some of that eyeliner, I understand I did it too, but seriously… I can’t see your eyes and from a distance you just look like a panda bear.

And lastly WowHeGotTall, stop growing please because I swear you grew since I saw you yesterday, and while I find conversation with you the most stimulating, because you actually have a brain, I am allowed to talk to other people and if you pull another stunt like you did on Sunday, we will be having words, not nice ones either, I appreciate that you used to be really shy and now you’re friendly, and that’s great, but I don’t actually have a life and I was trying to get one so next time don’t interrupt or you will not be getting anymore cookies ok.

Teenagers are ok but also annoying… I don’t really mind

My Best Friend

I don’t think I have ever introduced my best friend.

So I’mm going to. This blog is dedicated to sleepy.

Of course she is not my BEST friend because a dog is a (wo)man’s best friend, but sleepy is a pretty close second.

Sleepy is 18 and well classically sweet and innocent, I don’t mean that in a bad way, and not in a she’s stupid way because she’s not, and it’s not like she thinks the world is all roses either, but something about her always expects/demands kindness and goodness, it’s really refreshing.

Anyway she’s my best buddy for a lot of reasons and I can’t remember how we became friends because we are both so different, I think it had something to do with us being so much the same also, or opposites attract or something.

Anyway she more than my best friend she’s like my sister, I lived with her and her family for about six months and really… I thought I’d get sick of her or annoyed with her…actually I’m sure I must’ve got annoyed at one stage but I just can’t remember when that was, but I get annoyed so frequently that I must’ve at least once.

Anyway the reasons I love her….

Thinking…

Ok because we have interests in the same things… like movies and star treck..spock specifically, um religion, although I must state that she has half good but half really bad taste in music, and no I’m not obsessed with shopping or shoes like her but meh… she’s not obsessed with thiunder storms and fish like me so you know.

Actually she’s a bit of a scardy cat, she won’t go out in the dark alone, and worries when she hears a strange noise or when I don’t lock the doors, and I tease her about it relentlessly, but seriously it kinda makes me feel good to be the big brave hero that goes outside at night to fill the water bottle and what not.

We like painting and writing together, also we both love our cups of tea although she dosen’t like lipton witch is blaspheme in my eyes.

Anyway she has been diagnosed with chronic fatigue, which is not nice because she’s so young and used to be really active, but that suits me because I need allot of sleep to and therefore she’s one of the few friends of mine that willingly want a siesta every afternoon.

Anyway she’s mostly my favorite friend because she gets me, and even when she dosen’t she tries really hard to understand and even when she can’t she doesn’t judge, which is good because I think I do enough of that myself to myself.

Sleepy always makes me feel normal…oh and not stupid, which is nice.

Anyway sleepy and her mom and little sister are moving here in august which seems entirely too far away because I miss her and she sent me this email about how she’s lonely too and misses me and although I felt bad because she resorted to telling me about a new jumper she bought which means she must’ve been bored because she knows that shopping is a off limits subject with me, and then she said that she was crying about everything and I felt bad because I wasn’t there, it kind of made me feel good that she misses me too.

Anyway there coming up for a week in a fortnight, so I can’t wait.

Miss you sleepy.

Icing Cookies

Ok, I have a friend who has four children, My friend can be called… Farmville, seeing as she’s practically obsessed with the facebook game.

Now Farmville has three daughters, and one son.

In order from oldest to youngest.

Giggle aged 15

Sweetness aged 13

Boombox aged 11

And the son shorts aged 9

Anyway, I sometimes babysit them, and today sweetness came over, I was really busy still unpacking and stuff and I had baked all these cookies, I’d already given my neighbor some but I also had a bunch that I still hadn’t iced, so sweetness offered to ice them while I finished vacuuming and cleaning up the left over boxes in my room, I gladly accepted and all was good.

10 minutes later

There is a little knock on my door, I look up

‘hey sweetness’ I smile

‘h-hi…’ she mumbled as she looked at her shoes

‘what’s wrong?’ I was seriously worried

‘I-I had an… an accident’ she mumbled

‘stand up and talk properly, what did you say?’ I told her

‘I had an accident’ she repeated a little louder.

I was slightly concerned ‘what was it?’ I asked

‘well… I’m scared you’ll be really angry’ she said

‘did you break something? Seriously I don’t really own anything that I care enough about to get angry for an accident…’ I said

She didn’t answer

‘did you accidently kill my dog?’ I asked with a smile knowing full well that the dog was asleep on my bed behind me.

‘no…’

‘c’mon sweetness spit it out’

‘I spilled icing sugar on the floor’ she admitted

‘and?’

‘that’s it’ she mumbled returning her gaze to her shoes.

And all I could think was seriously? That’s it, who the hell ever gave her the impression that that could be a catalytic event?

‘oh really you spilled icing sugar?’ I asked making sure I had heard right

She nodded

‘well, I think I should ring your mom to come and get you.. I can’t believe you’d be so clumbsy as to spill icing sugar, and on the floor of all places!’ I said

She looked sincerely worried

‘sweetness… icing sugar seriously…? that’s not bad who cares…’ I laughed

She looked at me unsure

‘a messy cooks a good cook, who cares, it’s really not an issue’ I clarified

‘but its allot of icing sugar’ she explained

‘so what we need to go buy more to ice the biscuits?’ I asked

‘no there’s enough for that’ she said

‘hmm… well this sounds serious I better come and have a look’ I told her.

She worriedly followed me up the passage to the kitchen, and I looked at the floor to see all of about three tea spoons worth of icing sugar on the floor.

‘well…what a waste’ I shook my head and she didn’t seem to crack a smile at my jesting. I sighed… what I was about to do was going to be a waste, there was enough icing made up for the biscuits so I picked up the container and emptied the remainder of it on the floor, with an exadurated ‘oops’

I looked back to her and she gave me a wide smile.

‘now can you finish icing them or are you too traumatized?’ I asked

She giggled before stepping forward to ice the biscuits.

I finished the vacuuming and did some other odd jobs and then we sat down to play a game of monopoly and I could see her looking uncomfortable again.

‘ok I have a new rule’ I announced

She looked at me

‘in this house, you do not feel bad if you do something that you perceive as bad or wrong, and if you do do something that you perceive as bad or wrong, you probably didn’t do it, and if you can’t wrap your head around that and still feel bad or uncomfortable about it, you must express yourself, or you can’t come here’ I said

She thought for a moment before she said ‘I stole some thing’

I was shocked but tried not to show it

‘what did you steal?’

‘I iced 71 of the and that’s whole not halves and they looked really yummy and so I ate one half and then I counted and realized that I had to eat a second one because it was uneven’ she admitted

‘you ate a biscuit?’ I asked

‘two’ she clarified.

‘sweetness.. do your parents tell you off for stuff like this at home?’ I asked worriedly

‘no… but I know it’s wrong’ she explained.

‘right, so making a mess and eating biscuits is wrong…yes I see that’s a terrible thing to do’ I smiled

‘I’m serious’ she said

‘so am I, very bad of you’ I teased.

I just think if I do bad things you won’t like me’ she said.

I then launched into a conversation about there being no point in making someone like you if you aren’t happy in their company, she finally agreed and lightened up. Poor kid

But really she’s a pretty good kid…oh and I think she has a touch of hero worship for me, for the life of me I can’t figure out why, but its sweet.

The embarrasing air-conditioner... Because I'm an idiot.!!!

Ok, so as I said, I had a problem with the air conditioning in my last blog.

Well the people who come and fix the air conditioning came today, and well it was the most embarrassing experience of my life… not really but it was pretty bad.

You know when you do something stupid and you know it’s going to end badly, but your too buisy/tired/don’t-care to not do it.

Well I was brushing my teeth when someone knocked on the door, I thought it might just be DogLady so I answered the door with my tooth brush in my mouth, which is a really stupid thing to do, so I invite the air conditioner fixer guy in, and a boy who I went to school with is his apprentice, so he looks at me gives me a huge wave and says

‘hello,’

 without thinking (because I’ve been really tired and I’m super forgetful, (so much so that I annoy even myself) I say

‘hello’

 back, forgetting that I had a toothbrush in my mouth, and I proceed to dribble toothpaste all down my chin, so I wave them in the direction of the air conditioner, which is un-neccicairy (because it’s a huge thing on the wall,) and then I go to clean up my face.

Then as I re-appear I try to put Bindii on the lead because she runs away and they were in and out of the front door, and somehow I end up tripping over and landing flat on my face. And apparently four years isn’t very long, that or people you go to school with have long memories. Because the boy I went to school with smiles at me and says

‘Gee so things haven’t changed much eh?’

I simply frown and try to retain any semblance of intelligence I might have by explaining that the air conditioner only blows cold air and not hot air.

Then the timer for Nulla’s (my cat) medication goes off, and I have to give it to her straight away  otherwise I forget, because like I said I’m really forgetful, and so I give it to her, which mind you is a job that takes forever and is really hard because she doesn’t like it and when you try to give a cat something they don’t want… well all I have to say on that subject is they have claws… sharp claws, so there’s lots of ouchies and hurties involved in this process, they probably thought I was trying to kill her.

Anyway after this, I fed Bindii also, and the cat and Bindii had to have a fight, (because it’s dinner time and they both get jealous of each other, because I might actually starve them or something) that I had to break up because…

‘That behavior is not acceptable in this house and if you’re going to act like animals you can get outside and be treated like one, and don’t give me that look young lady!’ (mind you they are actually animals so my comment is negated, I realize this but because they are animals I don’t retract it, they’re not really going to pull me up on my language accuracy)

Bindii looks all dejected and whines

‘No I do not want to hear it, you are old enough to know better and sometimes you are so ignorant you’re going to kill her one day’

Nulla hisses at Bindii again

‘And you, you’re supposed to be old and with a dodgey heart, acting like a three year old is not ok, don’t you stir her back up again, No, don’t look at her, I’m talking, you listen, you’re going to have a heart attack again’

Bindii teases cat again

‘Ok that’s it’

I reach for the Bindii slapper

‘You’re in for it now young lady I warned you and you didn’t listen.’

I smack her with her *special* wooden spoon, and she gives me a sad look

‘Don’t look at me like that, you shouldn’t be so obnoxious’

Cat gives dog another horrible look

‘Do you want the slapper too?’

She sits down and decides to behave

‘Right, glad that’s sorted, goodness me, and you’re on heart medication, between the two of you I’m the one who’s going to have a heart attack’

They both look apologetic and start sucking up, purring and rubbing themselves on my leg

‘Don’t be like that, the only one who behaves out of you is Chloe’

(Chloe is my older dog who has died, but her cremation box sits on the bookshelf, and I have a necklace with some of her inside a metal heart.)

And then I proceed to go on about how Chloe was always the best behaved probably because she could hardly walk, but still….

And then I round the corner of my kitchen and realize that the air conditioner fixing guys were still there.

And yes they heard it all and they were laughing.

And so I tried to explain my crazy-ness, but no it was unexplainable because… well it is unexplainable, and the one I went to school with laughs and says it’s ok because he already knew I was crazy and he’s seen so much worse from me.

‘Talking to yourself again?’ he asked

‘Yeah… I mean you know…’

‘Yes practice..non-flu…anamorphy thing’

‘Progressive non-fluent aphasia’ I corrected a little embarrassed

‘Isn’t that a contradiction?’

‘What?’ I asked

‘That you can say that?’

‘Oh… yeah well practice and all that’

(about six years ago I was hit in the head and got it, it’s where the left frontal lobe sustains injury, anyway- you know what you want to say but it’s really hard to get it out sometimes, which is really frustrating, but with enough practice I can speak normally and most people don’t even know I have it, unless I get upset or angry or tired and then I get a stutter, but anyway the more you talk the less it happens, so I talk aloud to myself to keep in practice)

‘I know but it just makes you sound crazy’ he laughed.

I sighed knowing he was completely right and then I offer them a hot drink, in the spirit of small town friendliness and they decline, I don’t wonder why, not at all.

And then the one I went to school with tells me about this party and that I can come along if I want to, and while I’m trying to say ‘no it’s okay, I rather the quiet of my own home now days,’ I end up with something more like ‘I’m a loner and don’t like people…oh but I have one friend…that’s not a dog.’

Anyway then the really embarrassing part

‘There’s nothing wrong with the air conditioner’ the man told me.

I looked puzzled.

‘You do however have to put it on heating not cooling for it to blow warm air.’ He explained

‘Oh’ I looked around ‘But how do you do that?’ I asked feeling really stupid

‘You press this button, see the one that says heat’

‘Oh… that must be what that picture of the sun on the little screen means’ I smiled

‘Yes… and before it had a picture of a snowflake’ he added.

‘Well in my defense, I think I would’ve figured that out but I didn’t know that part of the remote flipped down, no wonder it wouldn’t work’ I smiled

They both looked at me.

‘Hey no one else that looked at it figured it out either’ I answered

(and indeed five other people had looked at it for me)

‘That’s true’ he agreed

‘Yeah but then you can’t claim that as your defense, it’s like remember the time….’

The boy I went to school then proceeded to launch into a conversation about me bringing down the whole schools computer system… and the time I wrote on the white board in permanent texta… and the time I got caught in the lift and didn’t know what button to press… and the time I fell down the stairs…. and the time my friend gave me a water balloon and told me it was a condom and I gave it to my boyfriend… and the time I froze the teachers laptop…… and the time I pressed the wrong button and put our conversation instead of the song on the radio… and the time I put the wrong flour in the cake… and the time I stabbed myself with the pen… and the time I accidently mixed up the……

you get the point.

Anyway I tried to look dignified when I took my glasses of to wipe my eyes and readjust them, but I ended up poking myself in the eye when I tried to put them back on, and he just laughed saying something about ‘point proven,’ I mumbled something about ‘enough said.’

And when they left I felt like an utter idiot and wanted to scream

‘I’m not always this stupid!’

 After them, but thought that wouldn’t be the most sane thing to do, not at all.

Anyway, so that was my embarrassing day, please feel free to make me feel better by leaving your own embarrassing comments.

P.S. Although I do do a lot of stupid things I’m really not this completely blonde all the time.