News read

We were watching the news today, and as appalling as it is, I can’t help but laugh at the news, here are the headlines.

The earthquake/tsanumi in Tokyo.

Firstly the news person is a ventriloquist because his picture didn’t talk, so if you’re going to post a picture with a voice over and this is the picture they chose.

Ladies and gentleman

Hayden cooper Tokyo

Why use such a hideous picture, it’s like they forgot to tell him to say cheese.

I think it’s amusing that the buildings are built to withstand 10 on the richter scale these earthquakes were 8.9 and flattened the buildings. Dodgy buildings much? Like all things made in china.

Also, the Germans are worried about the the nuclear bombs that are in the destroyed area, who thought it was a good idea to let the two countries that created the 1^st and 2^nd world war a bunch of nuclear weapons?

Also why does the news give us Chinese translators to translate the Chinese, their accent is so thick that we still can’t understand.

And then they hold up big sighn’s with Chinese writing and shake it at the screen like were supposed  to read and understand that. I mean pretty squiggles but don’t really understand guys.

And everyone is running around with masks on…is there another flu outbreak?

Who thought to name their city fukushima…sorry but say it slowly.

Then there’s the clipets that run across the bottom of the news they read.

American phsycodellic icon killed in QLD car crash

My first problem with that is…is phsycodellic even a word

And secondly what does that even mean?

The report of the tsunami are a false alarm,

you’re kidding right?

Knights, raiders hand out first hand thrashings.

I know there’s something amusing with this I just can’t figure it out.

One last thing

Saveth Sebastian

A Chinese news reader

I saw this guys eyebrows and all I could think was….great potential Vulcan eyebrows…

Who agrees with me?

He’s even got them complete with expressionless eyes.

Please stay tuned for next week’s news updates.

Puzzeling

Mom’s husband, who shall be hence forth known as babe, babe because that’s all I ever hear mom call him.

Anyway babe likes to do puzzles, really really big 3000 piece puzzles, this is the latest.

Our cat is also featured in this photo.

Also they gave me a house warming present.

I think its beautiful, its framed and all, oh and I still haven’t changed the date.

Anyway as I still haven’t moved into my house so I shouldn’t’ve received my gift, however my mom and I were sitting in her room and babe comes in and looks at her and points in the cupboard

‘Can I?’ babe asked.

‘Not yet’ mom tells him

‘Please?’

‘No’

‘But Hun!’

‘You’re supposed to wait’ mom stated.

‘Can I’ he points enthusiastically again.

I look to babe and he nods, I look to mom and she shakes her head, I look to babe and he nods, I look to mom and she shakes her head, I look to babe and he nods, I look to mom and she shakes her head, this goes on for a while before I go ‘what?’

‘Ok go on’ mom stated

Babe smiles enthusiastically and retrieves this massive frame and gives it to me, I love it it’s pretty awesome.

I must stop writing as mom has crawled onto babes lap and started making out.

fetta cheese and water

I went to visit my Bindii today, Bindii is my five year old Staffordshire.

As I am currently floating between homes I am paying a lovely lady and her husband to look after my little girl.

This for me is hellish because my dogs are my life, but as I’m staying on a farm I’m not allowed to have her here in case she decides to eat the sheep. Anyway so I’ve been missing her very much, so I got a lift to Adelaide to see her while my mom picked up some things she bought from e-bay. It sounds simple enough right?

Wrong.

Mom drove us the windy way, and the entire way down I was carsick.

It went something like. But not exactly like, but this is the gist of it

‘Sarah you probably shouldn’t write while I’m driving’

‘Why, I’m already car sick it really can’t get much worse’

‘You’re making me feel sick’ she said.

‘Correction you’re driving is making you sick’

‘Don’t say that’

‘Just wait till we get home, I’m sticking to my story’

‘What story’

‘The one where your driving makes yourself feel sick, that’s pretty bad’ (because it is, she’s a bit of a rev head)

‘People will think I’m a bad driver’ mom retorted

‘And that’s an incorrect assumption how?’

‘I’m not a bad driver’

‘You’re tailgating again’ I noted.

‘It’s not my fault; I bet it’s a woman driver’

‘Did it occur to you that you’re a woman driver?’

‘Sarah, I’m not a bad…’

‘Pull over pull over I’m gonna spew!’

‘I can’t pull over there’s nowhere to pull over’

‘Should I let it out in the car then?’ I snapped hoping that a pull over spot would magically appear…it did.

And so I barely exited the car before vomiting the…oh non condense of my stomach, yes I had not eaten anything so there I was with water vomit and something that looked like feta cheese, no I don’t remember eating that.

Anyway so my vision blurs, my nose burns and my legs shake and after retching multiple times, I compose myself enough to get back in the car.

The Nav man whose name is Dale Yes mom named it, anyway he got us lost and after deciphering the map we arrived picked up her e-bay stuff and went to visit my Bindii.

She seems to be very happy and she made me chase her around the backyard, the poor lady who looks after her was telling me a wonderful story how Bindii escaped and took her husband on a 10km run. I frowned at Bindii but didn’t have the energy or the will to tell her off.

Anyway after that we went home, I was disappointed that after all that sick I only got to spend a hour with her. L

Anyhoo on the way home guess what I was sick again, and yes the same water and feta cheese, (I swear that I did not eat feta cheese, at all!)

Seriously!

IT WAS AT THIS POINT THAT MOM WAS CONSIDERING RUSHING ME TO THE HOSPITAL FOR STARVATION AFTER ID ADMITTED THAT I WAS SOO EXITED ABOUT SEEING MY BINDII THAT I HAD FIORRRGOTTEN TO EAT FOR THREE DAYS, HOWEVER I CONVINCED HER THAT I WAS INDEED ALIVE AND WELL AND A FEW POUNDS AWAY FROM BEING STARVING. SHE SETTLED ON MAKING US HAVE KFC FOR DINNER.

Damn that caps lock!!.

Anyhoo, after we arrived home, (and ate our KFC and endured through an episode of home and away) I retired to my bed, that said goodnight. J

Oh and p.s. I found this pretty flower on today’s expedition.

P.P.S I was thinking about posting a photo of my water and feta cheese, but I decided against it. Also I need to change the date on my camera because it’s all soo wrong!!!

About the blog

Ok so yes I know I have missed a few days but I will try to keep on top of it, however I have written one blog per day but due to sucky internet service I couldn’t get them up so here is the last few days worth.